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lyrics

We’re gonna do a singalong tonight.
Who wants to buy this blue shopping cart?
Blue shopping cart. Blue shopping cart. B-b-b-blue shopping cart.
I once had a shower curtain that glowed in the dark in wintertime. It told me lots of great facts about wingspans. Each Monday, it would report how many Speed Limit 30 signs had been removed from the sides of roads in New Jersey, baby. Usually it was one or two, but one week, like, five went missing.
Later that Wednesday, I toured a horseshoe factory. They had a really creepy break room actually.
I used to collect hacksaws back in the early 90’s, but I gave up because most of them looked alike. Then it was salt packets, but they looked alike too. Then I started stocking up on ranch dressing cuz I just wanted to use that on hot dogs. It’s the only way you can get rid of static on the radio if you live way out in the country.
You ever tried to use Jello as a letter opener? It takes a little practice, but if you’re busy trying to keep donuts from escaping out of the box, you may just want to keep the dynamite away from any nearby pets or other assorted small animals.
Can you believe how expensive earlobes are getting? Like the prosthetic or fake ones? I mean they’re so fake!
If you have any additional comments or questions about this karaoke machine manual, please call or email at, ummm… that place that lets you cut water in half.
Well there’s an ice cream truck out front.

credits

from Insert Good Album Title Here, released March 17, 2019
Keyboards, Guitar, Vocals - M.C. Paperclip

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Dr. Tissue Texas

1993, it was a time of noisy guitars and cheap keyboards. And wooden spoons, and other assorted objects.

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