Dum diddly, dum diddly, dum diddly, dum diddly. I’m using plastic this time, that’s kinda cool.
Nine shoes later, I ventured back out onto the lawn. A cold breeze brought in a bunch of FedEx boxes from the northwest. I thought to myself, “Great, onion coupons.”
Suddenly, Luke Bryan jumped out of a moving golf cart to try and distract me. I knew better. As he began to perform the Riverdance, I turned around and caught the robot version of Miranda Lambert trying to take my toaster oven.
It was time for battle. 17 rounds of Go Fish, to determine which one of us would get to ride all the mall escalators for free for 48 hours.
That’s when I decided to spend the rest of the afternoon poking holes in a piece of notebook paper with a AA battery. Count up your hairspray cans, ladies and gentlemen, because sandboxes aren’t gonna build themselves.
Root beer.
Radiator cap.
credits
from Insert Good Album Title Here,
released March 17, 2019
Keyboards, Wood Spoon, Spatula, Vocals - M.C. Paperclip
